Happy Honeymooning Day 5: Hakuna Matata, Rafiki!

Thursday, March 27th, 2025

3:26 PM

Konokono Resort, Michamvi, Zanzibar

My first time I got scammed in Zanzibar, I hadn't even left San Diego yet.

But let me back up. We boarded the plane from Addis Ababa to Tanzania, and it was perhaps the least full plane I have been on since at least the pandemic. Kenny and I had a row to ourselves, and the row behind us was empty too, so we could put our seats back and spread out.

I knocked out immediately, which was beautiful, and Kenny promised that when we got to Zanzibar, he would take care of everything.

"Aren't you tired too?"

"Extremely," he replied.

"Then I can suck it up. It's just getting through the airport and then confirming a ride to Jozani forest tomorrow, then we just get dinner and go to bed."

We had a short stop at the Mount Kilimanjaro airport (the flight was about 2 hours), where we didn't even leave the plane (which, again, was fine -- we had so much room and I was so exhausted, that I actually didn't want to go anywhere. The airport here was pretty rural, but we were unable tfo see Mount Kilimanjaro. The flight from Mount Kilimanjaro to Zanzibar was about an hour.

The view of Mount Kilimanjaro airport from our plane.

I was able to get maybe about 2.5 hours sleep between Addis Ababa and Zanzibar, which was apparently enough to get me through customs, the travel insurance process (Kenny bought online using his phone), the visa-on-arrival process, grabbing our bags, and getting in the car to the hotel.

For the visa, Kenny and I were given two different forms, but that apparently didn't matter. Then, I crossed out information I thought was wrong, but ended up being right, and that didn't matter either. In fact, the main concern seemed to be the $100 USD fee for each visa. But, we got our passports stamped! Finally! Even Kenny admitted it was pretty cool. 

A worker at the airport then stopped me as we walked to our baggage carousel.

"Jambo! Hakuna matata!" he called out. Hello! No worries!

"Jambo, rafiki!" I replied. Hello, friend!

"You know Swahili!"

"Ah, a very little."

"In Zanzibar, it is always hakuna matata."

Then, without us asking, he grabbed our bags from the carousel and walked us outside. He helped us find our driver. I tipped him $5, which I couldn't tell whether or not he thought that was sufficient (I think it was very sufficient, but whatever), and we got in the car.

Our driver is a man about our age, maybe a few years younger, named Haji, and he started telling us all about Zanzibar as he drove us through what I thought was Stone Town, but he explained was not quite Stone Town. 

"Do you know the hakuna matata song?" Haji asked us.

"It means no worries, for the-" 

"No," Haji interrupted me, but he was so friendly about it, it was clearly not meant maliciously. Or maybe he was annoyed. I could see being annoyed about that. "It is a call and response song." He then sang it for us, and then we sang it again, with him saying a line, and us repeating it, and him explaining what it means in English.

I would write it out for you here, but I don't really remember it. It starts with jambo, and at some point has the word Zanzibari, and obviously it ends with hakuna matata.

And, man, I've never been anywhere like Zanzibar. Most women on the street wore hijabs, and the men wore shorts or dashikis. Some women wore face coverings for everything but their eyes, and later (in Jozani, where we went the next day/today for our forest tour), we saw women in niqab. It is Ramadan now, so I don't know if they are wearing full only-see-the-eyes outfits because of that, or if they generally wear that year-round.

There were cows (or bulls, I don't know) pulling carts with people in them, not as a tourist thing but as a way of transportation. Women walked down the street with big bags or baskets on their heads, full of things they needed to carry, without using their arms whatsoever. One woman clearly had a destination in mind with her very big bag on her head and strode down the road as quickly as I would in sneakers. She then stopped to chat with a friend across the street, leaning towards the road without worrying at all about the bag. Nor should she. The bag didn't even change angles by a single degree.

We passed by a fresh fruit stand, where they sold pineapples, mangoes, bananas -- both yellow and red. Red bananas? I'm absolutely trying that at some point. I didn't even know that was a thing.

The ride was about an hour, and we were at the resort by around 5 PM. Most of the way, the road was a paved road with no lanes, but there wasn't enough traffic for that to be an issue. For the last kilometer, we hit a dirt road. When we got close to our resort, we saw men in the traditional Maasai clothing, who we later found out acted as security around the hotel. 

The resort, Konokono, is stunning. No rooms, just villas, and everything is so private. We are told that there are black monkeys everywhere, but it was perhaps too late in the day to see any. 

Walking up to the lobby.

The view from the lobby to the rest of our resort.

In fact, they are so ubiquitous that we were warned to keep our doors closed at all times, as they are not shy and they love to come inside and throw things around.

The man at the front desk, Felix (I had spoken with him on Whatsapp to arrange the car), greeted us warmly. He had the Maasai men help us with our bags, and we made our way to our little villa. It is beautiful. Definitely the most luxurious place I've stayed in my adult life, at least outside of a big group setting. A whole villa, with a separate sitting room, and a bidet, and a king size bed, and our own private plunge pool? That comes with jets? 

Kenny and I have taken to calling it Temu White Lotus. And I'm going to brag here, but this luxury -- which includes breakfast and dinner -- costs us $160 USD per night. Which is cheaper than the tiny room we stayed in back in London. 

Oh, speaking of money -- Haji did confirm with us that US dollars are better than Tanzanian shillings. When we go to Stone Town, I will likely do an exchange, but for now, we can use the US cash we brought.

Dinner wasn't until 7:30, but Kenny and I got a second wind. We decided to head to the pool (an infinity pool) and get a drink before dinner. I decided to step into the ocean (technically, a bay -- Chwaka Bay -- that leads into the ocean), and it felt as warm as bathwater. It is absolutely the warmest ocean water I've ever been in.

Inside our villa.

Our plunge pool and private outdoor area.

Kenny on the way to dinner.

The entrance of the restaurant.

The view of the infinity pool and Chwaka Bay, with the overseas bungalows as well.

Before we ate dinner, we met another couple who was seated earlier than we were. They were from Arizona, and the husband was a dentist who also owned a safari company, and he was checking in on some of the destinations he was sending people to. They started in Nairobi, and then visited Malinda (also in Kenya) before coming to Zanzibar. He does some humanitarian work on the side as a dentist to some local villages near where they have safaris. Most of the time, they live in Surprise, AZ.

When ordering, Kenny almost didn't get dessert, but I insisted.

"I don't like dessert."
"Get the fresh fruit platter."

"I'm not going to eat it."

"He'll have the fresh fruit platter," I told the waiter, and then turned back to Kenny when the waiter left.

"I went to a professional development up in Berkeley in 2019 called 'Edible Schoolyard.' They had a whole vegetable garden on campus, they'd had it for over 20 years at that time, and it's a Title I school, so families could take some of it home for free. And there, I got to try some lettuce, and I actually like lettuce--"
"I hate lettuce," Kenny interrupted.

"Oh, because it doesn't taste like anything?"

"Exactly."

"I get that. It's actually why I like lettuce. But this lettuce I tried had so much flavor because it was literally just grown. So, trust me, you'll like the fresh fruit platter."

(Reader, I was correct. He ate the whole thing.)

After dinner, Kenny took a shower, and I tried to charge my phone. Then, around 2 AM, I woke up with a dead phone and a charger that had fallen behind the bed. Apparently, at the very late hour of 8:15 PM, I had fallen asleep literally in the middle of trying to charge my phone.

The next morning, Kenny woke up, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, grinning.

"You look happy," I pointed out.

"I had a good night sleep."

So did I, actually. Haji met us after we ate breakfast (baked pumpkin slices, spiced okra, a hibiscus juice that was maybe the most delicious thing I've ever put in my mouth) and drove us to Jozani Forest. 

Two black monkeys on the path back to the villa.

On the way, we stopped at a market for bug spray. The girl behind the counter told us it cost 15.

"15... dollars? Or shillings?"

"15 shillings."

Oh my god. The lowest denomination of cash I have is a $20 USD. How many shillings for a dollar? 2600. Yes, that's correct. The lowest denomination I had was equivalent to fifty-two thousand shillings, and this girl was asking for fifteen of them.

I gaped, not sure what to do, considering giving her $20 USD and calling it a day, when Haji paid for us.

"US dollars, good for restaurants, tourist areas. Shillings for everywhere else," Haji explained. Well, I'd get shillings in Stone Town, whenever we ended up going.

Haji has actually been an incredible resource so far. He was stopped by some police officers, but he was easily able to talk his way out of a bribe, which he explained was why he was pulled over. Haji is the kind of guy who knows everyone, and is immensely likable. On the drive to Jozani, for example, he pointed out a barbershop.

"Better to go to Paje for that," Haji explained, referencing a small town we were going to go to later this week that was known for its beachy, laidback vibes. "They give you lotion on the face and a massage too."

"You want that, Kenny?" I asked.

Kenny shrugged.

"Stone Town, too, they do that," Haji continued. "But I don't go there. It is too smooth, and the women -- they see my face with the lotion, and they want to kiss it. All of them. It is too much."

Anyway, I'm now obsessed with Haji.

We got to the Jozani Forest, and that's where I found out that the $70 I paid online for the Jozani Forest was a complete ripoff. Later, Haji would break it down that one ticket should only cost $12. Never pay for anything online when it comes to Zanzibar. Everything in person.

The tour was pretty great, though. The red monkeys are not at all afraid of people, letting us get very close before scampering off. We toured with another couple, Jacob and Elissa from the Netherlands.

The Jozani Forest is a National Park, so the guides are employees of the Tanzania government. This is important later, when I tip the guy $20 (again, my lowest denomination), and Haji explained to us that you're actually not obligated to tip government employees at all.

I pretty much immediately went to the bathroom when we got there, and one of the guides took a look at Kenny and mentioned, "you look familiar."

"Nah, man, I'm from the States," Kenny replied.

"I thought you were from the UK."

"No."

The man then clapped Kenny on the shoulder and said, "we are brothers."

(Kenny was pretty excited to tell me this story.)

BUT THE TOUR. We saw red monkeys with families. The babies almost peed on us, but we were able to make sure we were not standing underneath them when they let loose. We saw a crab spider, which was terrifying, and also I couldn't get a good photo, so I'm using one I found online. We saw lizards and geckos. We saw, in a part of the Jozani Forest that was closed to visitors and fenced off, an antelope, where our guide explained that antelope were scared of humans. It was hot, and humid, and only drizzled for 10 seconds, which is not the torrential downpour we've been promised for this time of year. Good luck, or climate change? I am making an active choice to not think about that answer too closely.

We also got to see ants the size of cockroaches, where the guide very nicely offered for us to put our hands there because they were friendly ants, but all 4 of us declined.

Red monkey mama and baby.

Red monkeys are polygamous because there are so many more females than males.

Baby red monkey getting ready to jump to another tree.

Our tour guide and the paths we walked.

This is the mahogany tree, which gets cut down to make very nice desks in people's studies.

Kenny in the forest.

Crab spider which, as Jacob pointed out, we would be seeing tonight in our nightmares.

After the forest, we drove over to see a nearby mangrove. This was such a cool spot, where we learned that this is legitimately where mangrove trees grow, that there are three kinds -- red mangroves, white mangroves, and black mangroves -- and that mangrove seeds drop from the trees into the mud to create new mangrove trees. The mangrove was in danger for a little while since people kept cutting them down, but now they are protected by the government. Unlike the Everglades or even mangroves in mainland Africa/Tanzania, there are no crocodiles or alligators here. Only fish and crab.

Well, sort of. At the end of our visit to the mangrove, another guide pointed out a very small baby snake called a green mamba. The upside is that green mambas really want nothing to do with you and will avoid you at all costs.

The downside is that they are one of the most poisonous snakes in the world and extremely deadly.

Elissa and I both agreed to respect the snake and give it space.

We also saw a chameleon -- and we literally watched it change colors in real time. It was WILD.

A chameleon we literally watched change colors in front of us.

In the lower right corner is a mangrove seed sticking out at a weird angle. That is the one I dropped into the ground after the tour guide gave each of us one. The Dutch couple was very good at it dropping it so it stuck up straight. I was not.

It was, all in all, a very cool experience, even if we got majorly ripped off because I made the mistake of trusting an official-looking website. 

"Did you book any other tours?" Haji asked us.

"Blue Safari."

"How much you pay?" he asked. (I think all Zanzabari people speak Swahili as a first language and English as a second, so while -- yes -- everyone speaks English on the island, it varies how good they are at this second language).

"$75 per person, plus they are picking us up and dropping us off at the hotel." I did not add that this was an additional expense because Haji had already clutched his chest at the horror of this amount.

"You should only pay $75 total for that!"

"Well, I found it online, so obviously the online stuff sucks. I thought prepaying would be cheaper! That's what it is in the US!"

"From now on, I will help you with all the tours. Spice Tour. Kuza Cave tour. Stone Town. Did you book?"

"No, but I really want to go on a spice tour!"
"I will help you with that. Hakuna matata. Well, not today. Today, matata. Lots of matata. Jozani matata."

Haji will probably also overcharge us, but not nearly to the same extent that we've been overcharged online.

When we got back, Felix asked us how our trip to the Jozani forest was, and then he offered to teach us some Swahili.

"You know jambo, but do you know how to say goodbye?"

"Kwa heri," I replied, very excited my Duolingo was paying off.

"Yes! Do you know how to say good night?"

"Usiku..." I started, but couldn't remember the part that said "good."
"Good! Usiku mwema," he finished for me.

"Usiku mwema," Kenny repeated.

He repeated a couple more phrases to us, and then we went off to eat lunch and enjoy our private plunge pool.

Tonight, we dine at The Rock restaurant. I am so excited. The photos look beautiful, and I know the meal is a little pricier than other places on the island will be -- but it's definitely a tourist spot, so I'm okay with it. It will be our most expensive meal on the trip.

Thursday, March 27th, 2025

8:24 PM

Konokono Resort, Michamvi, Zanzibar

We ate at The Rock. It was very good. Huge platter of freshly caught seafood. More tomorrow.